When Contemplating Jesus’ Life Becomes a Source of Liberation: A gay man that Prays
With a warm faith and an unshakable belief, Ismael, 34, is determined to unapologetically share his journey as a gay Christian. It is a journey marked by many obstacles, disappointments and moments of confusion, but also by the presence of God.
“I consider myself to be a very open-minded man who is Black. And a man of faith. I think, if anything, beyond and above everything, I am a person of faith. I see that as part of my everyday life. I cannot separate myself from being that.”
With a confident smile, Ismael Mokone, 34, from South Africa, introduced himself with these words during an interview with Gay Christian Africa on Zoom.
“I cannot also separate myself from just being human: the most sexually free person, in terms of my sexuality as a gay man,” Mr. Mokone added.
Born into a very conservative Christian family, Ismael’s early life revolved around church activities. He felt a strong sense of belonging within his Christian community, a community he once believed in and hoped to serve as a pastor. But unexpectedly, things became more complicated than he had imagined because of his sexuality.
Opening up about being gay, although he never doubted his faith, made him realize that the people he considered his family in Christ no longer saw him in the same way. As people around him began to change silently, he felt that the only way to fit in was to neglect his sexuality and deny his feelings. Was it the best choice? Perhaps not. However, losing a family, friends or a community and suddenly finding oneself facing the unknown can be frightening. In such moments, the instinct to survive can sometimes lead to unhealthy decisions.
“I had to sit down and wonder if the people that I was surrounded by, or the faith community that I was in, was actually representing God, and if the God that they taught me about was indeed God. This is when I started going into finding God, and the results of that are what we see today,” said Mr. Mokone, describing the journey that allowed him to contemplate God, the life of Jesus and his own life with one word: “Beautiful!”
For Ismael, this contemplation also led to a question for Christian leaders: What does it really mean to follow Jesus?
He has a clear message for those who lead churches and Christian communities:
“If the gospel that you’re preaching as a leader does not represent Jesus, does not speak for Jesus, and doesn’t understand what Jesus said, then I don’t know if we are actually speaking about the very same Jesus that we say we hold onto.
So, as a leader, where do you find yourself? Do you find yourself standing with an attacker against someone’s life? Do you choose an idea that represents what you may regard as the right way of doing things at the loss of someone’s life, at the depression of someone’s life? Or would you rather choose life over everything else? Question that Ismael asks himself when interrogating the place of humanity in the christian preacher’s messages against LGBTQ+ Individuals.
“Because what I learned about Jesus, and the death of Jesus that we embrace so much, is love.”
The Bible is too often used as a tool to justify ignorance and hatred against LGBTQ+ people. Yet, when we look at the life of Jesus, we see something different. Jesus encountered people. He sat with them at the same table. He saw them, listened to them and felt their pain, even when society considered them sinners or unworthy of being close to him.
It is this example that Mr. Mokone invites church leaders to follow: to give their lives for the person next to them—the person sitting in the very same church, even when that person does not fit their way of understanding or seeing life. For him, this is a concrete way of giving and generating life within the Church and society: choosing to see the person before the difference, and choosing life over judgment.
South Africa was the first country in the world to include protection for LGBTQ+ people in its constitution and became the third country—and the first in Africa—to legalize same-sex marriage. Yet anti-LGBTQ+ sentiment, social discrimination and spiritual dehumanization still persist in Nelson Mandela’s land.
The story of Ismael Mokone, although filled with hope, offers a glimpse into this reality. His journey shows how the search for God can also become a search for a deeper understanding of life, love and one’s own identity.
But his story does not end here.In the next article, we will continue Ismael’s journey as his search for God leads him towards generating life through online activism. We will explore how his contemplation of Jesus gradually became a source of freedom, reconciliation and a determined testimony of his faith and identity.
