I am gay and Christian, can I engage myself in a gay relationship?

An answer to a letter we received from our correspondent from Kenya. Here is the letter: Hello, I am from Kenya and I am 20yrs old. I’ve been stressed up about being gay and am scared of having a relationship because what I have always been told and experienced is that being gay is like a sin or something evil and it’s really hard and heart-breaking to control your feelings also have spiritual beliefs. I am also representing my other gay friends…please we need advice and understanding about Christianity.Thanks 

Response

Dear Correspondent thank you for reaching out to us. I can imagine how stressed and scared you and your friends might be. But do not worry, it is normal for someone who grew up in a very closed culture and religion as you did. We also experienced that feeling since we also grew up in such an environment.  First, I would like you to know that you can be Christian and gay at the same time without any problem. The teaching of Christianity on homosexuality for years has been so hush and very insensitive but I can guarantee you that it was the fruit of misunderstanding and ignorance. For that reason, some church leaders are trying to understand it better and are being more open than the generation before.

 We can appreciate that, is seems a small light in a very dark place but it is just a start. However, the journey is still long, especially in our mother continent Africa. Here are few insights from the bible which might help you to understand more, that God loves you the way you are, and being gay should not be a problem to embrace fully your faith.  Saint Paul says in Galatians 3:28:” There is neither jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male or female for you are one in Christ” This shows you that Christianity is for everyone, no race, no gender, no sexual orientation…It doesn’t matter who you are or who you are not, you belong to Christ.

Christianity is a welcoming religion as we can find it in the Bible in Romans 15:07″ Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God.” However much the teachings were not welcoming at your church and felt excluded and not belonging, know that you belong.  You and your friends need to first understand that. Being homosexuals can be a gift.  Your sensibilities, your open hearts as well as perseverance can be a testimony for many. Maybe it will be challenging to meet a church leader who understands this. But put in mind that you are part of church, you are the church. You might be the one to teach the church in Kenya, that there is an image of Christ left out of the church. You will be the one to help the church grow. Most of the time church leaders judge homosexuality without knowing what it is, without listening even to LGBTQ+ people. You know with your own experience, what it is to be Christians and homosexual. I am not asking you and your friends to be martyrs or to confront the church where you go, I am asking you to not switch off the light in you because Christians arounds can’t understand, treasure your faith as much as you can with the pain of judgement and misunderstanding you have to bear. You are precious that way for God. He does not expect you to change but He really wants you to be at peace with who you are. In the future, you might be the one helping the church to deepen that aspect. 

You talked about the fear of being in a relationship, dear correspondent, it is a beautiful feeling, to be in a relationship. Don’t be scared, it is not a sin. There is no sin in loving someone and in return love you back. You are not wishing anything bad, you are only giving space in your heart for someone to grow and share happiness. However, remember that in many African countries, I guess even Kenya, Homosexuality is criminalized. Be careful, there is no problem living it in a discrete way for safety reasons. If you find a partner, live that relationship to the fullest, there is nothing wrong with it, there is no sin on that. God will be amazed to see you happy and fulfilled than seeing you miserable and lost. 

Your question caught my attention and touched me a lot because it reminded me of my experience a few years ago when I had no model as gay and Christian to look at and be inspired. When I would doubt God’s love and be afraid of any kind of relationship because I strongly believed It would make God angry. Burundi and Kenya aren’t much different when it comes to homosexuality. But now I can tell you, by remaining close to the church and faithful to my faith I understood better how Immense and unshakable God love is. He knows who you are and expects you to be nothing else than that and still love and praise Him.