Saint Valentine’s Day: a gay love story in Rwanda
In this episode of True Love series we explore a tender, bittersweet love story from the Land of a Thousand Hills.
It began quietly, the way so many modern love stories now do — without witnesses, without certainty, without drama. In 2021, Noel (not real name) received a random Instagram request from Moris (not real name). They started talking, casually at first, messages unfolding without urgency. For months, their connection lived only on screens. It wasn’t until May 2022 that they finally met in person.
They went out for dinner somewhere in Kigali. It was easy. Natural. The kind of evening that doesn’t demand anything but leaves you thinking about it long after it ends. Yet when Noel dropped Moris off at home, there was no goodnight kiss — not even an attempt. Noel drove away half-amused, half-wounded, quietly wondering whether next Saint Valentin he will spend it alone or if the attraction had been one-sided.
Then came silence. A little moment of ghosting each other. A full year passed. Life intervened. The connection seemed like something that had arrived briefly and left just as gently.
Until the summer of 2023. Moris reached out again, and this time, when they met in July, something shifted. They spent time together — real time — the kind that dissolves uncertainty. That same summer, Moris fell in love first and said it out loud. And almost unexpectedly, Noel found himself falling even harder. They have been inseparable ever since.
Their relationship, Noel says, has been shaped by deep love, passion, compromise, learning, forgiveness, patience, and commitment. But the greatest surprise has been Moris himself — his solidity, his steadiness. Where Noel admits to being chaotic, Moris is grounding. He calms without controlling, understands without explaining. His presence alone feels like reassurance.
What first drew Noel to Moris was his pragmatism. A realist in every sense, Moris understands the terrain they are navigating. In Rwanda, being openly queer comes with complications — visibility is measured, and safety is never assumed. So Noel and Moris live quietly.
Their Valentine’s Day looks less than an Instagram reel but more than a Zanzibar island that gives you what you dreamed of, fills you with lifetime memories. They move through life softly. They rely on a small but strong support system of fellow queer people, and from the sidelines, they cheer on those who stand at the forefront, pushing for visibility and rights. Rwanda’s relatively neutral stance toward the LGBTQ+ community offers space, but never certainty.
Faith is central to their story — and complicated. Both Noel and Moris are Christians, united by a belief they hold firmly: love can never be ungodly. Still, faith has not always been kind to them. Like most queer in the continent, from childhood, they were taught that the way they love is sinful. Those teachings linger, even now. Unlearning them takes time. Courage. Grace. Yet they choose to hold onto faith — not as a weapon against themselves, but as a source of grounding and growth.
The hardest moments come during life’s milestones — the moments when love wants to be visible, loud, affirmed. Not being able to publicly celebrate or defend one another takes a toll. Over time, they have adapted. Their celebrations are private, but frequent. Their affirmations are quiet, but consistent. Words are spoken often — and always matched by action.
If marriage were safe and legal, Noel’s answer is immediate: “yes!”. Not only because of love, but because Moris is a worthy partner. His strengths, Noel says with a soft smile, outweigh his flaws by miles. Physically, it is Moris’s smile that still disarms him — the kind that brings butterflies. Beyond that, there is something harder to name: Moris’s presence. The way he steadies life simply by being in it.
If there were only one prayer Noel could offer for Moris, it would be for divine protection — over him, and over his family. And if Noel had just one chance to put his love into words, he would say this: Thank you for making my life insanely beautiful.
Both men know this much — what they share is forever. What that forever will look like remains uncertain, shaped by many external realities. But the certainty of each other remains untouched.
For Noel, love is commitment. It is standing firmly beside someone without hesitation. It is knowing that even in the roughest moments, the idea of not being together never appears. Love is choosing each other — again and again, every single day.
